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Family Album

Examples Of Emotional Abuse In Relationships

It’s impossible to compare examples of emotional abuse with those of physical abuse. Both are beneath contempt. A classic example of emotional abuse has been televised a lot lately. This poor lady put her life on hold so that her rat of a husband could put himself through Law school.
Then he decided to have an affair with his secretary. When his wife found out, all he yelled at her was that she had become ‘fat and ugly.’ This secretary started to send her samples of skin toner and other beauty products so that she might make herself look young again. That, and any number of insults over the phone and through the post.
In the end, she snapped and shot the pair of them. She was put in prison for God knows how long, and the Law should hang its head in shame.
But other examples of emotional abuse are when the husband starts trying to isolate you from your family and friends. This is why it’s so vitally important to really know the person you’re marrying. Keep your eyes and ears open around their friends. Are they popular? Well liked? How do they interact with their own family? And, more importantly, with your own family?
Be ready to listen when a friend or family member has misgivings. Listen to them carefully and ask them why. Instinct can play a very important part of recognizing faults in someone that you yourself can’t see, or won’t see, because you’re just too close. Even the best preparations don’t ready you for what your partner’s really like.
We’ve mentioned this business of alienating you from friends and family. As soon as he starts this caper, you must take a strong stand. One thing he may try to do is to withhold money from you. Now before you marry, this matter of an allowance for you, or however you intend him to pay you, should be thrashed out exhaustively.
The chances are, though, certainly in the first few years of your marriage, you have a job. So for the time being, the financial subject becomes moot. He may well tell you, in a disdainful tone, that you’re out of shape and need to go to the gym. Tell him he’s no bowl of roses himself.
It’s so important that you stand up to him. He’s a bully by any other name, be he knocking you about physically or trying to undermine you mentally. If you simply let him walk all over you, this he’ll do with the greatest of pleasure.
He may decide that he’s no longer interested in you sexually. That’s a relief, you say, because you no longer have to be intimate with him. He may complain about your cooking. Simply tell him that he has money in his pocket. He can go out and eat what he likes.
The long and the short of it is to counter every bad move he makes on you with one of your own. These characters only succeed when their victims don’t fight back…

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Mom and Baby

How To Build Solid Family Relationships

… one family, held in the gospel of love…

Who is this one family? What does it mean to be held in the gospel of love? Is this a place every person can expect to reach, or is this a fantasy?

The answers to these questions are at the root of family relationships–relationships that separate a mother from daughter, father from son, and pit one sibling against another. Such relationships have existed since biblical times. They are evident in the “Cain slew Abel” and ” Jacob and Esau stolen birthright” stories. Human resistance to peace, harmony and love is the nature of mortal thinking. It focuses on self-love, self-righteousness and self-aggrandizement.

This article will:

Disclose the identity of one family.

Explain what it means to be held in the gospel of love, and

List key factors that establish lasting family relationships.

The word “family” suggests commonality, sameness, or cohesiveness. defines family as “a fundamental social group in society, typically consisting of one or two parents and their children; a group of persons sharing a common ancestry; two or more people who share goals and values, have long-term commitments to one another and reside usually in the same dwelling place.” As I read each one, I applied the same question, “What does this definition have that keeps one member of the family from saying or doing things to harm another?” The answer? Nothing. If you think I am wrong, ask yourself, ” Has the fact that my sibling(s) and I have the same parents, have common goals and values, live or lived in the same house and have long-term commitments, maintained harmony in my our family? ” I applaud you if you can answer Yes.

The Perfect Man

How is a perfect family defined? What does a perfect family do? For answers, I went to Science and Health with Key to the Scriptures and found that the author, Mary Baker Eddy, says, ” Immortals, or God’s children in divine Science, are one harmonious family; but mortals or the “children of men” in material sense, are discordant and oftentimes false brethren”(p.444). Key phrases to understanding this statement are divine Science and in material sense. If you don’t know what these mean, the statement has no validity.

Divine Science refers to “demonstration of divine Law.” An example of a divine law is “‘unconditional love”– love that remains love under all conditions and situations. An example could be: The male teenager next door raped your six-year-old daughter… do you still love him? Yes! I hear you. You are thinking, “That woman is crazy.” Let’s slow down a bit. There is a difference between loving the act committed by the teenager and loving the teenager! The act is despicable! You say, “But the teenager did it! How can I love him?” You love him by changing the identity of him in your thoughts.

Let’s look at him again with a higher level of thought. There is only one creator, and that Creator is God. All that God created is good. If this is true, the teenager has to be good. If he is good, he could not have committed such an act. If hedidn’t, who did? Looking at the other key phrase, “material sense,” we can identify the person as a mortal, or one who belongs in the category of “children of men.” Children of men have no realexistence (according to the laws of God) because they have no creator. God is the sole Creator and all that He made is good. So, who is this person? He is a false sense of man–a counterfeit of the perfect man. You have a choice of holding the false sense in thought, and feeling hate and pain, or latching on to the perfect man, and feeling goodness and mercy. Which one makes you feel better? You decide. If you decide to hate, does the hate change the human sense of things? Does the act disappear? No! So what do you do?

God’s Power

You use everything in your power to see the perfect man–not for the rapist, but for yourself. .. and your daughter. Why do you do this? Because it activates the presence and power of God! Holding in thought the man who is kind, loving, pure–one who would never hurt anyone, begins to free you from the “I would like to kill him” mentality and generate harmony in your life. You must get there! Is it easy? No! No! No! You get there anyway! Put it in the hands of God, and you will be surprised how everything falls into place. Mercy and justice, even when divine, are not blind. Acknowledgement of divine truth, eliminates human error.

Being able to separate God’s children from children of men, will bring healing in your life. This is …

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Family Tips

Single Parents And New Relationships

One of the things that are often overlooked in a single parent situation is the child’s role. We all understand our position in the family. The child of a single parent is no different. Attempting to introduce a new partner for yourself can be a bit of a challenge and may be met with resistance.
As the parent, you may see a relationship not only as a partner for yourself, but also as a way to bring a mother or father figure into the family for the child’s sake. The child will always view it as someone taking your attention from them.
The strength of the relationship that they may form with this new family member will not change this. In fact, this is usually the basis for a poor relationship with anyone that is “intruding” on his or her family.
Unfortunately, the older the child is, the harder this transition will become. Talking to the child will not help ease this transition. Only time and attention may help the child to accept the addition of the family member.
As a single parent, there are always feelings of guilt. Usually this stems from not having another parent available for the child. In the case of bringing another parent figure into the home, this guilt may be from not spending as much time with the child, or from not having the energy to do the usual things any more, or even because of changing the routine that was previously followed.
It is important to keep in mind that the child feels these changes as well. If you expect the child of a single parent to adapt to the new family structure, it must be done gently. The child is used to having the parent to their self. The intrusion that they feel cannot be ignored.
Introducing someone else into your family should be done slowly, preferably before they move into the home. It is for the sake of a calm family life that any relationship with a single parent should move especially slowly.
It is best to plan outings that include the other person and allow the child or children time to adjust to having this person sharing your family time. If there is a special activity that has been a part of the routine of your lives, include this new person and see how the child(ren) react. If things go smoothly, you may plan to include them the next time as well.
Have them come over after work and spend the evening, creating the family environment without the threat of permanence. Have them stay until the children are asleep if possible. Spend several months doing this at least a few times a week.
As long as things have gone well, you can increase their involvement with the kids and start having them stay over on occasion. Don’t announce when this will be (except maybe the first time to get a feel for what the reaction will be).
By moving slowly, the relationship will have time to build between each member of the family. You will be giving the child(ren) the opportunity to adjust to the change, and you will get a real feel for how things may go once the other person moves in.
It is important to remember that the child should be as excited to have this new person in their lives as you, the parent, are. Once you move someone into your home, it’s too late to take things slowly. Move too quickly and you could have a fight on your hands for years to come.…