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Close Family

The Number One Way to Stop an Argument!

Arguments happen. There are times when you, or a family member, are feeling attacked, threatened, not heard or understood and as a result you (or they) become defensive and reactive.

So what do you do when you want someone to hear you, or do something, and they are just not listening or cooperating?

Yell, scream, cry?

That may get you heard, may even get results, but not really the best way to get your needs met (and certainly something you don’t want to model for your children). These behaviors cause hurt and fractures in the relationship. You may win the argument and get your way, but you may harm the relationship by doing so.

Stuff it all down and figure ‘why say anything, it’s always the same’?

That will only cause you to feel disconnected and unfulfilled by not allowing the other person to realize your feelings. You disrespect yourself, and your needs, when you do this behavior, and sadly it comes out in other ways (addictions, eating, anger blow ups, depression, etc)

So how do you stop an argument?

Remain Calm. Yup, pretty simple and oh so effective! By remaining calm you stay in control of your feeling and thoughts do not default to reactive behavior. By remaining calm you can listen to what it is YOU need and also hear the other person point of view, even if you absolutely disagree.

So how do you remain calm in the storm of an argument?

There are many ways, some of these may work for you:

Breathe

Say you need 10 minutes to calm yourself down and then you’ll come back to discuss it more

Set a boundary that it’s not OK for the other person to yell, and you’ll listen if they talk in a way that you can hear them without yelling

Listen without interrupting the other person

Ask yourself what you need right now and respect that

Detach from being “right”

Look at the person with love and compassion.

There is a saying I’ve heard, “When you have the choice between being right and being kind, choose kindness”.

Look at disagreements as opportunities to strengthen the relationship, allowing for different points of view and a mutual respect of each others opinions.

You can use the art to explore how you typically respond to arguments and disagreements. Often when people do this they see a pattern from their childhood of how they responded to disagreements in the past. Make a commitment to be aware of your patterns and shift how you respond.…

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Happy Family

Scenario: Missing Family Member

What Should I Do?
When discovering that a loved one is missing, the feelings of devastation and loss are hard to overcome. By following the simple steps below, you will gain some control in locating your missing loved one. Do not hesitate to seek outside assistance because, often, the missing will be returned safely and unharmed if you take action immediately. Avoid doing nothing because this action (no action) could present more danger for your missing loved one.
1. Don’t panic! You need to be clear headed to consider your actions, options and resources.
2. Gather recent photos and dental records, if possible.
3. Write down the date of disappearance and a description of the missing person; height, weight, color of eyes and hair, age and birthdate, birthmarks and other identifying items; scars, tatoos, rings. The clothing the missing was wearing could also be important. Worn clothing can provide DNA. Even interests and talents could be helpful in locating your missing person.
4. Write down names, addresses and phone numbers of people who the missing was with the last time they were seen and where the loved one was when they disappeared.
5. If a child or adult has just wandered away from home, you need to call law enforcement and/or an agency who can help you do a physical search immediately.
6. Now report your missing loved one to the agencies who can help you. There are many organizations who can help. Do not try to bear this crisis alone. You need some outside support for your sanity and assistance.
7. If internet savvy, check the missing’s email communications. Amber Alert, Porchlight International, Peace4 The Missing, The National Center for Missing and Exploited Children, the Runaway Switchboard are just some of the internet and public organizations which can help. Most of these organizations offer service for free. You could publish information about your missing family member on Squidoo, Blogger, Twitter, Facebook, My Space and any other social networks, also free.
8. Stay busy and avoid unnecessary worry. Worry increases your stress level which may be a detriment to locating your missing person.
9. Report any new communications from or locations of the missing to the selected advocate or law enforcement agencies.
10. If your missing person was a runaway and has since returned home, please visit and direct your loved one to some of the organizations which can help the person avoid future disappearances. These services are especially directed to teens and free.
Operation L.A.P. Foundation, Inc., aka Wisconsin Center 4 Missing Children & Adults (WCMCA) is an organization ready to help you. They will do physical searches. Their services are free and they are a registered 501(3)(c) charity. The organization is completely staffed by unpaid volunteers. If contacted as 1st responder, WCMCA will even report your missing loved one to your local law enforcement and act as your liaison, coordinating the search. WCMCA has helped 100’s of families.…

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Love Mommy

An Overview of the Safety First Baby Monitor

Part of the preparations made for the arrival of a baby include finding a monitoring device that will provide the kind or system parents need. The Safety first baby monitor provides parents with a way to provide the attention to their baby during sleep that it needs. Parents are able to perform daily activities or sleep while the monitor stands vigil over the baby and provides an alert if parents are needed.
Infants and babies require many supplies when preparations are being made for their entry into a household. Often the items automatically purchased include bedding, clothing, toiletries, etc.. However, having a monitoring system will prove invaluable to the time the infant or baby is first brought home.
The monitors are discrete and when the baby begins to crawl and grab cords and other objects on the ground the safety first baby monitor will give off an alert to parents who may be in another room. By removing items that a baby can pull down from a dresser or table, parents will further protect the baby when they are exploring their environment.
Many new infants seem to lie perfectly still. Parents sometimes cannot tell if they are breathing and become alarmed. With the use of the safety first baby monitor parents are kept assuring that all is well with their baby. The receiver has a 900MHz frequency that is providing clear audio from up to four hundred feet. The receiver is small and light. It can be clipped on the clothing when one is performing other tasks.
The transmission of the safety first baby monitor has been set on a channel that is not often in use. This reduces the interference in audio. There are alerts on the monitor that a parent can set in addition to the standard alerts provided.
The monitor provides clear audio at all times. When the baby is sleeping and one is not sure if it is breathing, the baby first is monitoring the movement of the infant and when it stops moving an alert starts to sound. Babies often lie very still and one cannot tell visually if they are moving and breathing. This makes many video monitoring devices less effective.
The safety first baby monitor varies in price based on what types of features that one wishes to include in the monitor. Some of the monitors include sensor pads that fit snugly under the baby’s mattress and contain a motion sensor. If the baby doesn’t move for twenty seconds an alarm is sounded so that parents can check their baby. The monitors also can be set to detect motion in the nursery when the baby begins to crawl and explore the room.
Ensuring the safety of an infant and baby is one of the most important tasks that new parents have. Making sure that the baby is secure even when sleeping can greatly reduce the stress of the first few weeks that a baby is home. Using a safety first baby monitor, the parents can be assured that they will be alerted if there is any unusual event taking place in the nursery. They will be alerted when the infant needs to be fed at night by an alarm that will sound when the baby begins to move or fuss. This will allow a parent to sleep more soundly than trying to use an alarm clock to wake up for three o’clock feedings.…

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Love Daddy

Family Caregiving: Don’t Forget to Take Care of You!

While we may not be able to control all that happens to us, we can control what happens inside us. ~ Benjamin Franklin
It is easy to neglect yourself when taking care of others. Do you feel anxious, depressed, easily overwhelmed? Do you physically notice that you get sick more often, have a frequent upset stomach, trouble sleeping, or other physical issues that have come up?
This month’s caregiver article addresses areas which are imperative to your good health as a caregiver to an aging parent or relative.
Getting enough rest: When you don’t get enough rest it is obvious. It is certainly obvious to those around you and I know for me it is obvious to myself. Although sometimes it takes someone else to point it out. I become cranky and more tearful. Everything feels bigger than it would normally and I lose perspective.
Sometimes if you have a lot of elder care issues you are concerned about it can become difficult to fall asleep. When my father had a stroke a few years back, my mom had difficulty sleeping. She couldn’t turn her mind off from the worry and the things that we needed to take care of during this time. Before you go to bed take some quiet time without the TV or other distractions. Read a book, talk to a friend, or family member to help talk out some of your areas of concern and stress. Sometimes I just want someone to listen without giving me advice. Let them know what you need.
Here are some ideas for easier sleeping:
1. When you go to bed have a pad of paper and pen next to you to purge items from your brain that you want to remember to do the next day.
2. Find times to take short naps if needed. You can set an alarm in your car to get 20 or 30 minutes during your lunch hour that will refresh you for the second half of your day.
3. Still having trouble sleeping and worried about taking medications? Instead of taking medications research natural herbal sleep aids. Making an appointment to see a Naturopathic doctor may be a great help. These doctors go through the same amount of education as other doctors and I love that they test your body chemistry to see what is going on and then can suggest ways to combat your lack of sleep that are natural in course.
Sleep can become a more difficult issue if you are caregiving for someone with Dementia. Their sleep patterns often change and may interfere with yours. You may need to look into nighttime in home care or other alternatives for your family member if lack of sleep occurs regularly.
Healthy Eating: Pay attention to what you are eating. It is so easy to say “I will just grab a quick burger” when you are short on time but how many days in one week are you doing that? Being aware and paying attention to your eating habits is the first step to being able to make changes that may be necessary to your good health. You will have more energy too!
One method is to put some of your eating on automatic pilot. For example: Decide on 3 or so healthy choices for breakfast that are still fairly quick but you know will provide you and your family with a good start to each day. My son is an athlete and in the mornings I would make both he and I a great protein shake for breakfast. I kept the ingredients handy. There is a little blender called the “Magic Bullet.” It comes with containers that blend and have handles to become the cup. So it is all in one! I would make the shake, take off the blade, add the cup ring and hand it to him. A great fruit shake includes a frozen organic fruit, flax seed meal, almond butter, protein powder, some ice, and water.
During the week take a day to do a lot of cooking at one time and then use those foods to make a variety of recipes that take less preparation time since you have already done it and they are healthier choices. For example: Cook up 5 or 6 chicken breasts on the grill using your favorite spices. You can then use the chicken to create different dishes during the week. (as an example a curry dish, or a salad).
Exercising regularly: Get up a bit earlier than the rest of your household to start your day and go for a walk or do a cardio video and use some weights. I can get my workout done in 40 minutes. Check with your doctor of course if you haven’t worked out for a while …

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General Article

Great Family Holiday Deals Still Available Even During Half Term

Great Family Holiday Deals Still Available Even During Half Term

Finding deals on family holidays is not always the easiest thing to do especially during term time as the prices on deals tend to rise due to supply and demand. This is something that parents have had to deal with for many years and some families may be tempted to take their kids out during term to save some money but this is not advisable for many reasons, mainly because it is against the law and you can be fined up to A�100. Going abroad and the deals that are on offer are not always the easiest thing to find which means looking for a break closer to home is better value for money.

Not only does taking your kids out during term effect your child’s learning but it also disrupts the school and whether you are given permission to take your child out depends entirely on the school and not on the parent. When you consider the implications of taking your child out of school it really is not worth it and there are some great deals available on the market that will allow you to get away during the half term breaks and bank holidays without having to break the bank. We have also seen a nice change in the weather we are experiencing which may be the sign of winter moving away and autumn starting. This is even more reason to make sure you get away with the family so you are not all stuck indoors when the weather starts improving.

With an influx of bank holidays coming our way in April, now is the time to make sure that you have your family break booked. Whether this is during the Easter breaks or before or after to encompass one of the bank holidays that we can all enjoy, you can find a great deal online. The UK holiday parks are available and often have some great deals available that match the requirements of many families and these have proved to be a popular choice amongst many families over the years and this is a trend that is likely to carry on. You can see the range of deals that are available by simply making a search online and you will soon see that there are many deals available to allow you to take your children on holiday without breaking any laws.…

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Happy Family Show

A Homemakers’ Resume

In today’s ever-changing economy, I believe it is a good idea to have a resume on-hand at all times. It doesn’t matter whether you are a CEO of an outside company (other than your home) or if you are the CEO of Your Home (“A Seasoned Homemaker”) — a job I consider to be the hardest of them all! That is exactly why I wanted to write this article and share my heart with you.

I want you to feel confident about what you do as a Homemaker and how you affect the world around you. We are not just “stay-at-home-moms,” as I have heard derogatorily put now-a-days, but rather we are Momma-preneurs in every sense of the word!

Momma-PreneurA�Description:

Manage schedules and logistics for a family of five.

Create and balance priorities.

Create and implement a cost-effective budget.

Motivate, coach and counsel children.

Teach and implement model of work and moral ethics.

Work closely with teachers to monitor academic performance of each child within the home environment.

To plan, organize, co-supervise and execute extracurricular activities, both in and out of the home.

Mediate disputes among family member and to facilitate solutions for those disputes.

To be responsible for the purchasing of: clothing, food and supplies. Plan, prepare and serve nutritious meals for a family of five.

Coordinate and execute medical care for all family members.

To co-establish, execute and enforce the loving discipline of the children.

To chauffeur children to: school(s), team sport(s), music lesson(s), play date(s) and more!

Negotiating with suppliers, to pay invoices, reconcile accounts and negotiate savings.

Oversee and organize the arrangements for home and vehicle maintenance and repairs.

Create and maintain a clean home and everything in it for the family.

Meal planning and to create delicious dinners to entertain mate’s employers, clients, and friends.

And, finally to assist my hubby with the management of all family finances and investments.

Summary of Skills

*Effectively perform housekeeping and home management duties in a timely manner.

*Over fourteen year’s child care experience.

*Management, implementation and coordination of multiple activities and schedules.

*Ability to provide stress management strategies to meet Psychological and/or emotional needs of each family member.

*Excellent in problem-solving and trouble-shooting skills

Relevant Skills and Qualifications

Director of Domestic Management – skills include, but are not limited to, performing daily routine housekeeping such as: washing and drying of dishes, maintaining laundry, making of beds, changing of sheets, organizing rooms, general cleaning, disinfecting, and polishing kitchen, baths, bedrooms, laundry facilities and basements. To sweep, mop, wash, wax and polish floors, household trim, walls, furniture and more. Dusting of furniture and vacuuming of carpeting. Pick up debris for the household and empty trash containers. Responsible for implementing tasks for her staff (“the children”) to also assist her with these duties.

Machine Operator – skills/duties include, but are not limited to: washing machines, dryers, dishwashers, garage disposals, electrical equipment, and more.

Home Improvement Supervisor – skills/duties include, but are not limited to: do-it-yourself home improvement projects, painting, general up-keep and maintenance of your structural home, and more. If need be, interview and meet with prospective sub-contractors to assist in home improvement projects.

Director of Account and Financial Services – skills/duties include, but are not limited to: Budget Planning, Accounting; and Financial Management of the families’ daily, weekly, monthly and yearly living expenses. Financial planning and budgeting, coordinating and conducting of all household activities and purchases: such as groceries, clothing, field trips, sports trips, subscriptions, prescriptions and more! Negotiate prices, discounts, credit terms, and transportation arrangements for purchase of household merchandise. To ascertain savings and to use them to the best of her ability.

Secretarial skills/duties include, but are not limited to: maintaining multiple lines of communication, schedules, events, appointments and activities for your family.

Domestic Nursing – skills/duties include, but are not limited to: assessing, implementing and coordinating medical care for each and every family member (including pets) of the household. Being able to monitor, record, and report any symptoms of change of health of a family member (including pets). Administer medication and treatment as prescribed by a nurse practitioner, doctor and/or vet. Being able to assess, plan, implement and evaluate patient (and pet) care on a 24/7 basis.

Planning and Events Coordinator – skills/duties include, but are not limited to: meal planning, preparation, and cooking of daily meals catered to individual family members’ tastes and preferences. Plan mealtime menus and determine size of food portions. Estimate food requirements, costs, nutritional value, and monitor and order supplies as needed. Serve meals timely and pleasantly. Planning of family activities, such as: vacation time, play dates, special events, sporting events, etc.

Social Work Coordinator – skills/duties include, but are not limited to: providing the best possible counsel to assist family members in developing skills. To deal with and resolve social, personal …

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General Article

Families That Eat Together Experience Improved Health

Families That Eat Together Experience Improved Health

In North America today, obesity has become the national health crisis. It has risen to near epidemic proportions not just amongst adults but also amongst children. Many households are so busy with work, school and childcare responsibilities that the notion of having a regular family meal together has all but gone by the way side. Because of this, more and more families eat meals out either in fast food establishments or other restaurants and it is estimated that the average family spends more than 40% of its disposable income on restaurant meals of one sort or another. This practice has become so prevalent in North American households that a family meal is most often relegated to a holiday dinner or some other special occasion. As the children move into their teenage years, this becomes even an even more common practice.

Studies indicate that families that take most of their meals out suffer more negative consequences than just those associated with poor nutrition. Eating most meals away from the home leads to markedly poorer overall health and poorer nutrition. It is also leads to higher risk for obesity.

Trying to convince busy working parents of this notion in such a way that will encourage them to take more time planning weekly menus, grocery shopping and preparing family meals has been a difficult process for physicians and dieticians alike.

Recently, research scientists at Rutgers University began looking at this issue with a goal of developing a model that could be implemented to teach parents about the importance of sitting down with their family for a meal. They looked at reports on 68 previously published studies that had looked at the relationship between children’s health and whether or not the family regularly had family meals together. They looked closely at how often those family meals were occurring and what kind of food was being presented at them and consumed by the family members. They were trying to determine if families who sat down for a family meal together on a regular basis had lower obesity rates when compared to those which did not have family meals together regularly.

At first glance at the literature, they determined that children who had regular family meals had higher intake of three important food groups: fruits, vegetables and calcium-rich foods. They also noted that these children consumed more fiber in their diets. Additionally, the more often a family ate their meals together, the less frequently children consumed food items that are considered harmful to a person’s health. They found only a weak link between obesity risk amongst children who ate more family meals but they noted that those children tended to have much lower body mass index levels than those that did not.

From this research, the scientists were able to develop a simple to understand conceptual image which presents their findings in a way that is easy to understand.

The scientists were able to glean a great amount of valuable information which can be used to teach parents how to make better decisions when it comes to the food choices they make for their families. Although many people already know most of this information intuitively, most do not have the time or education needed to interpret scientific reports of this nature. They instead rely on headlines which are broadcast through the media which detail individual studies many of which do not accurately present the information which is contained in the study. The Rutgers University scientists hope that their study of the way in which family meals and children’s health is impacted and their creation of a user-friendly image which summarizes their findings visually will eventually lead to health interventions which benefit many children.…