When do you stand up for your child, and when do you let her figure it out on her own?
Remember that moment just before your baby was born when the doctor said, “You may feel some pressure”? You may have thought the doctor was referring to just the next few minutes; but it is possible that there was no time limit on that pressure. We feel pressure to provide the best nutrition, shelter and education. We sacrifice, smile and cajole our way through parenthood. We grow accustomed to exhaustion and compromise and learn to be accepting of the human condition on a much deeper level. We even become less judgmental and more grateful. In the midst of this, a living, breathing child trusts, loves and utterly depends on us; but hey, no pressure.
I can’t tell you how many times I have heard frustrated parents lament a situation at school, or a play date or even a family gathering that made the parent feel uncomfortable or even feel sorry for their child. Life is unfair and what should we do when our child gets the short end of the stick?
For me, it really depends on both the setting and the frequency. I’m all for letting a child learn to stand up for him or herself, if there is a basic level of fairness. I’m also all for getting involved when a child is in over their head. Only a parent can determine when to get involved, but I firmly believe that children need their parents to be ready, willing and able to advocate for them. Learning to advocate for our children in a way that builds bridges rather than burning them is a crucial parenting skill.
At school or at the pediatrician or even at a play date, there are moments when we need to advocate for, defend and speak up for our children. Some of the greatest growth spurts in childhood are not made by the children at all, but by brave parents who loathe confrontation, but do it anyway because they must.
Whether we simply remove our child from an unfair play date, or insist that we see a specialist at the emergency room, we are our child’s best and often only advocates.
It is our right and privilege to stand up for our children and it is how we show them that we believe, trust and love them even up to and beyond our own comfort level. We all tell our kids we love them, but those moments of advocacy are the times we show them. In those moments they discover our character and our priorities and it is what builds the foundation of strong and healthy relationships as they grow up.
For a teenager to know their parent has their back when they genuinely need the back up, is huge and often the difference between the courage to talk to a parent and the choice to pull away. Knowing that your mom or dad believes you are someone worth standing up for is the highest approval a teen can get in a world that often disrespects their whole generation just as a matter of principle.
So, here we are, under pressure and getting comfortable with the discomfort, standing together and standing up for what we believe in and the ones we love. I think that may be the greatest legacy we leave our children.
In the meantime, remember to keep your face to the sun so all the shadows will fall behind.…
When do you stand up for your child, and when do you let her figure it out on her own?
The services provided by hospice are interdisciplinary and are structured as per the needs of the patient. The services which are provided for any patient are a combination so that the patient is given as much comfort as possible. These services start with nursing care and go on to bereavement support for the family.
Nursing care has registered nurses who monitor the patient’s medication as well as the symptoms and keep the family and the physician informed. They are the link between the family and the doctor in keeping track of what is happening.
Apart from nursing the patient, as well as the family, also need a counselor. Social workers are there to advise, as well as counsel, the family on various aspects of end life decisions and help the family to access the resources which they need. Here again help is provided to the family to access any kind of aid and even to make funeral arrangements.
A doctor’s services is also available so that the personal physician and the hospice team doctor can consult on the best way to keep the patient comfortable. What is of utmost importance during the end life support is spiritual support for which clergy or any other counselors are made available.
If the patient is at home, there are services provided, wear trained personnel are sent to keep the patient well- groomed and clean. Personal care like bathing, washing hair and even trimming the hair, shaving and clipping and cleaning the nails is done. Sometimes help is also provided for preparing a meal or light housework.
There are volunteers with the hospice team who provide respite to the care givers so that they can have a break for a while. This is very necessary for the family member. Anyone who has taken care of a sick family member knows that in taking care of yourself, you will be better for your sick family member. Finally, there is help for arranging the funeral and also for bereavement.…
Parting ways are normal part of our lives, but that’s not the saddening part of letting close people in our hearts go. Oftentimes what’s really bothering is the fact that they’ll get lost contact with us and live a separate life. If that is the case there’s real reason to grieve but put worry out of your head because people search services are offering great deals on how to track down people whom you have been longing to have communication with again. All you got to do is to choose a particular search engine specializing in people’s finder task.
Search engines specializing in tracking down people provides services on finding a person’s basic profile information such as phone number, e-mail address or residential address. Some of these people search engines are free while most are for commercial use. There are even profile finder’s that offer services like searches beyond a person’s basic information, which mainly distinguish online search engines from the essence of bulky yellow pages. Profile search engines give us what we needed to say hello again to long lost friends, kin and relatives, and other people that we simply cannot live without.
This system works primarily by asking the searcher about the full given name of a person want to be searched, the nationality and the email address. After giving to the administrators of people’s finder it will assure you of a positive result within the following days. The information every client will be providing is also marked as confidential and cannot be distributed for public used.
But what if you got no idea where those people are currently residing? As long as you have their email address you can still connect with them through one of the programs offered by people’s finder engines: find address from email. Usually the information this system provides are obtained from a database gathering together people’s phone number, public records and contact information.
How does this system do the searching successfully? It’s all about legitimately decoding programs and familiarizing technical information that we normally don’t care about. For instance, anyone with email account is familiar of the appearance of an electronic message but to notice some options like the kind of header you want displayed in your email only few bothers to do that. The header plays an important key in tracking down the person behind an email account and where they came from. There are three options on what kind of header you want displayed in your account. One is the standard header; the second is compact header, while the third is full header. It’s in the third option that wealthy of information can be used in locating where an email came from.
Computer programs can be quite difficult to understand. That’s why profile search engines are here to offer some help like find address from email. Thanks to the World Wide Web for without it we are stuck at turning each page and rummaging through the bulky phone directories.…
Parents normally love to spend money on children’s toys, particularly those that stimulate the brain and promote intellectual development. Eight out of ten mothers would prefer to buy an educational book or toy for her child than anything that will hone a child’s motor skills. This phenomenon can be attributed to the numerous marketing strategies of infant formula and children’s toys focusing on brain development. Little do parents know that a child’s impressive growth in his motor skills also equates to good brain development.
Preschool and school-age children are at innately curious and tends to explore almost everything they can lay their hands on. This is but a normal characteristic of a growing child. At this age, they already have a considerable amount of vocabulary and have knowledge of quite a number of places, people and objects. For example, a simple stapler to an adult is a tool for keeping a number of paper together. To a child within the mentioned age group, he or she would need to use it first on a couple of pages of paper to appreciate its function. It helps them to understand that a stapler is attributed to a paper.
The same principle should be applied in choosing appropriate toys with this age group. Toys were not invented to develop only one aspect of human growth. In fact, toys that can be disassembled and then put together are the best for developing a child’s brain while giving due consideration for his motor skills. The process of disassembling and putting together a puzzle toy is undertaken by the brain, while the hand-eye-finger coordination represents the motor skills.
Child psychologists and pediatricians agree that any toy manufactured for the purpose of intellectual stimulation and development of a child’s motor skills will prove useless without putting input for the affective aspect. The term affective refers to the emotional facet of a human being’s maturation.
Have you tried taking note of the developmental tasks of children? Children who spend more time alone with toys and minimal human interaction will either grow to be too talkative in the desire for human contact or less interactive as a result of spending more time playing alone.
Whether toys were labeled as top of the line, or built with the most advanced technology or the simple yet highly beneficial washer toss game, all of these will not generate the expected results without human interaction. A simple washer game board is no fun without a person to play with. The same with dolls, interactive video games and other toys. Interactive video games are better appreciated when explained by another person.
Learning and development goes hand in hand and is better facilitated when children derives enjoyment from the activity. This principle is called thematic approach and is being utilized by a number of schools and learning center for young children. As such, toys should be chosen based on the functions they serve: promote knowledge, skills and values through the facilitation of parents, mentors and caregivers, taking note of the degree of fun they will derive from it. Remember, more fun with you equates to a child’s faster learning and development.…
One of the things that are often overlooked in a single parent situation is the child’s role. We all understand our position in the family. The child of a single parent is no different. Attempting to introduce a new partner for yourself can be a bit of a challenge and may be met with resistance.
As the parent, you may see a relationship not only as a partner for yourself, but also as a way to bring a mother or father figure into the family for the child’s sake. The child will always view it as someone taking your attention from them.
The strength of the relationship that they may form with this new family member will not change this. In fact, this is usually the basis for a poor relationship with anyone that is “intruding” on his or her family.
Unfortunately, the older the child is, the harder this transition will become. Talking to the child will not help ease this transition. Only time and attention may help the child to accept the addition of the family member.
As a single parent, there are always feelings of guilt. Usually this stems from not having another parent available for the child. In the case of bringing another parent figure into the home, this guilt may be from not spending as much time with the child, or from not having the energy to do the usual things any more, or even because of changing the routine that was previously followed.
It is important to keep in mind that the child feels these changes as well. If you expect the child of a single parent to adapt to the new family structure, it must be done gently. The child is used to having the parent to their self. The intrusion that they feel cannot be ignored.
Introducing someone else into your family should be done slowly, preferably before they move into the home. It is for the sake of a calm family life that any relationship with a single parent should move especially slowly.
It is best to plan outings that include the other person and allow the child or children time to adjust to having this person sharing your family time. If there is a special activity that has been a part of the routine of your lives, include this new person and see how the child(ren) react. If things go smoothly, you may plan to include them the next time as well.
Have them come over after work and spend the evening, creating the family environment without the threat of permanence. Have them stay until the children are asleep if possible. Spend several months doing this at least a few times a week.
As long as things have gone well, you can increase their involvement with the kids and start having them stay over on occasion. Don’t announce when this will be (except maybe the first time to get a feel for what the reaction will be).
By moving slowly, the relationship will have time to build between each member of the family. You will be giving the child(ren) the opportunity to adjust to the change, and you will get a real feel for how things may go once the other person moves in.
It is important to remember that the child should be as excited to have this new person in their lives as you, the parent, are. Once you move someone into your home, it’s too late to take things slowly. Move too quickly and you could have a fight on your hands for years to come.…