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The Number One Way to Stop an Argument!

Arguments happen. There are times when you, or a family member, are feeling attacked, threatened, not heard or understood and as a result you (or they) become defensive and reactive.

So what do you do when you want someone to hear you, or do something, and they are just not listening or cooperating?

Yell, scream, cry?

That may get you heard, may even get results, but not really the best way to get your needs met (and certainly something you don’t want to model for your children). These behaviors cause hurt and fractures in the relationship. You may win the argument and get your way, but you may harm the relationship by doing so.

Stuff it all down and figure ‘why say anything, it’s always the same’?

That will only cause you to feel disconnected and unfulfilled by not allowing the other person to realize your feelings. You disrespect yourself, and your needs, when you do this behavior, and sadly it comes out in other ways (addictions, eating, anger blow ups, depression, etc)

So how do you stop an argument?

Remain Calm. Yup, pretty simple and oh so effective! By remaining calm you stay in control of your feeling and thoughts do not default to reactive behavior. By remaining calm you can listen to what it is YOU need and also hear the other person point of view, even if you absolutely disagree.

So how do you remain calm in the storm of an argument?

There are many ways, some of these may work for you:

Breathe

Say you need 10 minutes to calm yourself down and then you’ll come back to discuss it more

Set a boundary that it’s not OK for the other person to yell, and you’ll listen if they talk in a way that you can hear them without yelling

Listen without interrupting the other person

Ask yourself what you need right now and respect that

Detach from being “right”

Look at the person with love and compassion.

There is a saying I’ve heard, “When you have the choice between being right and being kind, choose kindness”.

Look at disagreements as opportunities to strengthen the relationship, allowing for different points of view and a mutual respect of each others opinions.

You can use the art to explore how you typically respond to arguments and disagreements. Often when people do this they see a pattern from their childhood of how they responded to disagreements in the past. Make a commitment to be aware of your patterns and shift how you respond.…

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Locate People Quick and Easy

Are you looking for a family member, former classmate, or a friend you have not seen in awhile? There are various background techniques you can use to perform a people search to locate people. This article will give you a breakdown of different reasons for using this helpful service. All you need is access to a computer to begin your search; you’ll be amazed with how easy and fast it is to locate people.
Trying to locate information when doing a people search can be a lengthy process. Some people end up hiring a private detective to locate people for them. However, hiring a private detective can be expensive, and if you don’t have the appropriate information, they may not be able to locate the person you want anyway. That’s when you have to turn to an online people search. You could now search yourself for the people your are looking for by going online and conducting your own background search. Often, you will obtain fast results doing it yourself. And the best part is that you can begin by utilizing a free search; so when you get a hit on the person you are locating, you will only need to pay a little extra to obtain more detailed info on the person to round out your search.
Depending on how common the person’s name may be, you can search by last and first name, or possibly by just their last name. You may have to provide their age and last known city or state they resided in the past. The more information you can provide about them will help to better your chances for locating them.
Online searches can be very helpful in finding a former love interest, a classmate, a neighbor or friend. You could even locate real parents or a family member you have not seen for a very long time. Mothers can also use this service to help locate a child they gave up for adoption a log time ago. Regardless of your reason for searching, you can now see how useful, quick and easy a people search can be.…